I found love in a hopeless place

Sometimes something touches your heart quite unexpectedly and brings a memory spinning sharply into focus.
As I sat in a dedication service today I didn't expect to be transported back almost nine years to a moment of heartache, of fear and yet one of love, of finding love in a hopeless place. But as a poem was read out entitled Little Wishes by Cassara Nance there I was back at the side of an incubator... Perhaps I should start at the beginning.... All was well, after several years of trying and various investigations, we fell pregnant after the first course of treatment, at last the baby I longed for was to be a reality and not just a dream. The pregnancy went well, and just a week late labour finally started, the contractions were constant a minute and a half in between right from the start. Then 7 hours later things began to go badly wrong, I developed severe pre-eclampsia, my blood pressure rocketed and the baby was struggling, the baby was distressed but as
no theatre was available we had to wait.
Rebecca Grace was finally born by c-section at 4am and all was not well, She had inhaled the meconium and she was fighting for her life, at 10 minutes her apgar score was 1 - her heart was beating but things were not looking good, seriously ill I could not even touch my baby and Keith feared he was going to lose us both.
The doctors started making phone calls, and so did we, people started praying. Several hours later we were told she was to be flown to Newcastle the nearest bed for a lung bypass, but the consultants then decided she would not survive the flight and instead called staff off leave and made a bed with spare parts in Great Ormand Street Hosptial. And so just 12 hours after her birth she was transferred, I didn't get to say goodbye I was too unwell to go to her, she was to unwell to come to me. But she didn't go alone, she was in God's hands, we tried to pray but wept instead, but others stood in the gap, all over the country and around the world people prayed - they prayed the prayers we couldn't speak. They pleaded, they cried, they begged and they shouted and God who is big enough to take their anger and see their broken hearts responded, He intervened and Rebecca started to stabilise, she began to rally, to fight.It was two more days before I was allowed to join her, to sit by her incubator. Swollen, black and blue and under complete sedation I could only stroke her hand and talk to her. It was touch and go, her prospects weren't great, but as I sat by her I was overwhelmed by love, and I knew if someone were to offer me a trade, another healthy baby for this one struggling to hold on to life my answer would be a resounding no! I knew that Rebecca might have difficulties should she come through this, but I knew that there was nothing that we couldn't handle, and I began to pray, to find the words, to have hope.Many people describe faith as a crutch, as a comfort, but as much as faith can be a comfort it is also about trust, about obedience. On the day Rebecca should have finally woken up my faith was tested. She didn't wake up, there was a small chance that her liver had failed to remove all of the sedative and that a test to determine this would be done but not till later in the day. I sat alone in the park weeping and knew I had a choice, it wasn't a time to bargain with God, it was time to choose, would I follow Him whatever happened, if God was to take her would I walk away? In the midst of the tears, the heartbreak came a certainty, whatever the outcome I had given my life to God, I wouldn't take it back. And there in the park, in the midst of hopelessness I knew God's love surround me and peace came. I walked back to the ward, the Dr did her test - the drugs were still present. The next day Rebecca woke up and began a long journey back to health.God intervened and saved Rebecca. Today is her ninth birthday, she has difficulties but you know I'll take a dodgy memory and rejoice in how far we have come.

And so as I listened to this poem my arm around my beautiful girl, I wept, because sometimes wishes do come true.
Little Wishes
Little wishes on great big stars.
Daughter, I make a wish for you.
Keep on growing and keep on smiling.
And I'll keep loving all that you do.

Little dreamers wishing big things.
The world is your stage to display.
You can sing and you can dance.
Enjoy all that comes your way.

Little hopes in a great big world.
Nothing can stop your free spirit.
Make some noise, play a beat.
It's beautiful music when I hear it.

Little kisses from my now big girl,
You're growing up so fast it seems.
Pretty soon you'll leave the nest
And fly after all of your dreams.

Little girl I love you,
And I love you even more.
Because I made a wish once,

And you're what I wished for.